Family Blessings!

Today, I am thankful for God's blessings on my family.

My brother and sister-in-law have been blessed with a great, loving church family. This has been a long time coming. They have big hearts and desire a to grow and share life with other Christian friends. I think they may have finally found that. And they are receiving the blessings from it. In the small town of Crawfordville, friendship goes a long way, once you can finally obtain it. And I think they have done so. It makes me exhale just a bit, being relieved to know that they are feeling a sense of connectedness with others in which to share life and all that life brings.

My sister finally joined my family in Crawfordville. My brother, sister-in-law, and father currently live there. My sister is now there with her very nice fiance. I am so thankful she is moving towards family and having the urgency to draw near to family. I have missed her terribly, eventhough we stay in touch by phone. I try to visit her when we all can connect. It seems that I have only seen her once or twice a year since my mom died. (It is funny how such a sad event, saying good-bye to mom, is a beginning and ending point in my life. You see, I think my mom was the glue that kept us together. And with her in Heaven, we were bearly connected.)

My brother and I have been working very hard to keep our connectedness. It has been way overdue and I am so thankful we are truly friends. I am blessed to have my brother and sister-in-law as true believers in the faith - true Christian brothers and sisters. Five or ten years ago we only saw each other at holidays or family events. Today, I cherish the times we gab on the phone, sometimes for hours. I value it like needing oxygen and hope to never take it for granted.
With my sister and finance close to the rest of the family, I find comfort and feel hopeful of the future. I hope that she will find even more peace in life through a closer relationship with Christ. I really like her fiance which says ALOT! Did I tell you I like her fiance? Well, I am proud of the direction my sister's life is going and give God the glory for her safety and wellbeing.

Currently, my dad is searching for more work within the workforce. His previous job just ended and he likes to stay busy. He still has lots to offer the workforce and needs to continue forward. I think he is still searching for his "nitch" in life, something that will spark his interest. It is difficult to find your nitch when it was the love of your life and she is now gone. He is perservering and for that, I am thankful. I pray he finds a fulfilling interest in life very soon, something to motivate him in the long run. I pray that he finds peace from God to enjoy life.

And my husband... my soulmate... my true joy in life. Well, how would I really ever describe my husband or just how much I value having him in my life. To think back of the days being single, being a Christain and searching for a companion. I remember reading Jackie Kendall's "Lady in Waiting" and praying for a Boaz. I didn't deserve a Boaz after all the toads I kissed over the years. But I sure have discovered God's true grace and mercy to have blessing me so deeply with a satisfying, fulfilling relationship with my husband. I must be one of the richest persons on earth and he must be one of the best kept secrets EVER! (So why am I blogging about my best kept secret then?)

I remember back almost 8 years ago, not knowing then just how drastically wonderful my life was about to become. I remember shaking hands with a beautiful family sitting in front of me at Christ Fellowship on south campus (before there was a north campus). There was a tall, dark, African American man; a petite, fair skinned, beautful red-head female; a "butter-ball" gorgeous 3-month-old boy; and a fair skinned, tall, handsoome, white man. I fell in love with the 3-month-old and could not keep my eyes off of him. Little did I know that one day he would be my God-son. I couldn't seem to pair up each of the adults very well, wondering who belonged to whom. However, I shook hands and greeted Todd E. Shoemaker, the best kept secret, in January of 1999. I went on my way, not giving any of it another thought except to think how cute that baby was and I wanted to pinch his legs!

February 1999 my roommate, Karen, and I went to our usual Christian singles event, as we had done for three years. We were out for a bike ride and roller blade trip through Palm Beach. It was a beautiful day in South Florida and I had no idea Cupid was buzzing around. Karen and I were always open to meeting "New Prospects". At lunch, we both met extremely interesting men that we conversed with for hours. I enjoyed all my conversations with Todd E. Shoemaker. However, returning home that day, I told Karen that "I was not going to date him, I will just be friends! He is not my type" Blah, blah, blah - yeah, right? Isn't it wonderful when you receive God's type and not YOUR type in life! God's "type" is always more fulfilling that reliving history that wasn't so successful the first time around.

Well, in March, we began dinner dates and talking at church. Our second or third dinner date, Todd E. Shoemaker tells me he enjoys lots of different friendships. He prefers to stay friends for 6 months or so with whomever he is getting to know, before considering dating. (KEY WORDS: 6 MONTHS - Significant in this romance roller-coaster but for a very different reason!) I thought to myself that this courtship is about to take FOREVER. No, just 6 months!

By April we were inseperable and enjoy our courtship emensely. Everyone the meets us or has known us, knows that THIS IS IT! My co-workers felt like they knew a famous celebrity, THE Todd E Shoemaker and began putting in bets of when the marriage would be. (I reframed from the bets, however, my co-worker Ruth, won about $15 or $20!)

So May comes and goes. June we are engaged. I am still walking through life five feet off the ground and everyone around me that has heard me talk about Todd E. Shoemaker knows that they are about to hear even more when I am approaching them. I could not or would not reframe from sharing the happy news of the love of my life. After all, I had kissed many toads in my life (not all of my ex's are toads - in case any of them stumble across this blog - just a figure of speech meaning that I was overdue to find my prince).

Todd and I were both tenants at the time, renting rooms sort-of, in our friend's homes. Between us, we might have owned a bed and dresser. So as I planned for a quiet, somewhat quaint wedding, I realize just how much of a people-pleaser I really am during the process. My guest list begins to grow and grow and then grow some more. I planned for a January wedding. I found my flower arrangement and wedding cake. We would be married at our home church.

Then it came. It came suddenly, forcefully and leaving me without breath! I can't do this! Plan a wedding? I don't want a wedding! Sure I wanted a wedding! But it was based on Todd and my income and we were in our 30's. We were not imposing on our parents for this. And we needed a home, furniture, etc. I wanted to elope and prepare a home together for our new marriage.

So the office betting increased regarding the date we would elope. For some reason, you just don't want to announce an elopement! The secretness of it maintained additional intrigue. And we were married September 3, 1999. We are approaching our 8th anniversary and I can graciously say that our 8th year of marriage is more fulfilling and rewarding than our first. And I considered us as a couple on a honeymoon for several years when we got married.

I say that to say, God is good... all the time. When times are great, thank God for it. When times are tough, praise God and trust Him to carry you through. When you have little ambition or interest in life, find God in a new way. Discover His Son, Jesus Christ, and become acquanited. When you feel like life is falling to pieces, search through God's word for the ultimate superglue - God's glue to put it all back together - His way!

God's Provisions

To know me, you would know that I lost my mom February 2006. The peace I have to fill the emptiness is from God’s provisions in my life. I have hope in seeing her in Heaven one day. I have joy knowing she is praising God 24 hours a day. She is having “church” all that she wants! You see, here on earth, she had limitations and curfews of when to return from church and how often she was permitted to attend church. My joy is in knowing she does not have those curfews any longer.

If you were to ask me 7 years ago what my biggest fear was, I would respond by saying losing my husband or mom. My husband was healthy (no signs of cancer at the time) as was my mother. In my heart, my prayers to God were to graciously let me keep my mom through her old age.

My mom had been a pillar of health and an inspiration as a strong, beautiful, Christian woman all of my life. Then in June 2004, all of our lives changed when her life changed. She was diagnosed with stage 4 Lung Cancer. No one in my family understood the reality of this “death sentence”. The doctor gave her 12-14 months to live. Our denial kicked in and we supported my mom’s treatment through her strong faith of being healed. Twenty months into her treatment, she faced a stroke. Two weeks of recovery and therapy, she was talking and walking, slowly but just the same, was doing wonderful.

January 15, 2006, my mother-in-law’s birthday, I got the call of her stroke. Todd and I rushed to her side as family rallied by her. We didn’t understand why she could not speak or write. But after two weeks being by her side, she was talking and walking. Finally, I felt led to leave her and return home in Jupiter. She was in Dade City, outside of Tampa at the time. My brother, Burt, had come from out of town to visit mom and decided to give me a ride home since he was working in the area. Before our four hour ride home was up, we got the call that her second stroke had struck. Three long, grueling weeks of praying and wondering her fate was before us. She was on life support and not responding. As they prepared to transport her to Hospice care, they disconnected the life support. And it was then that her tired, weary body was united with her spirit, to meet Christ.

I never thought I could face such a loss and yet, I stand here today saying I am blessed. I am blessed to have had her 38 years of my life. As I reviewed my prayer journals from the past years, I found it! I found God’s Provision for me and His grace working in my life.

January, 1999

I write:
Thank you Lord for a great family visit. I enjoyed time with mom, dad, and grandparents. I had quality visiting time with Burt and Crystal. I still have that dread of losing mom though. When I am away from her the feeling is overwhelming. Lord, I don’t want to lose her. I realize others have faced losing their mom but that is them. I don’t want to live without having her through her old age.

My visit with her was sweet and for that I am thankful. I try to hug her more. I try to tell her more that I love her. I cherish our visits and time we spend together. What would I do without her? What would she want to see in her life if it were ending? Well, she would want to see that my brother, Burt and Crystal had a strong, Godly marriage. She would want to see my sister in a balanced, safe and happy life. And in my life, what would she want to see? God, show me what to improve or enhance in my life.


So, 1999 was five years prior to my mom even being sick. I truly believe God instilled a level of anticipatory grief within me. I think that a part of me began to prepare for losing her, even when she was diagnosed with 12 months to live. For that, I am thankful to God for giving me strength to face one of the hardest challenges in my life.

Live as if THEY are dying...

On Friday, my friend Terra called. She timidly said, “Hi, do you have a minute? I kinda need to talk.” Of course I said sure. Traveling at night with her husband and doggie, she and Danny got into a horrific car accident. The roads were wet from rain on I-75. Their convertible slid under and was dragged by an 18-wheeler truck 200 to 300 yards.

Everyone walked away with minor injuries. She felt it was God’s interventions that kept them safe. And it was God’s intervention that they were driving the convertible. Their plans to drive the SUV Suburban were cancelled the previous day when they took it into the mechanic for a tune-up. I thought a Surburban would be safer. However, the convertible’s lack of a solid roof saved them to safely slide under the semi-truck – if one was to slide under a truck.

I thanked God for their safety and the health. I wrestled with facing the reality of losing her. What if… what if she went to Heaven so young, so quickly. We didn’t get to go sky diving, or parasailing. We didn’t get to celebrate our birthdays together. We made a pact to start monthly celebrations from now until September, 2008, when I would be turning 40 and she would turn 40 the following November. What if…

It gave me a spirit of humility before God that we don’t have a promise of tomorrow. For children of God, we DO have a promise of eternity. I thought I was ready to face eternity and if I were to go tomorrow, I feel my heart is right with God to face Him and praise Him. However, I realized I want to live more through this life I have now. And I want to cherish my friendships within my grasp. I want more lunch times with Terra and Jean. I want more weekend excursions with Carolyn. I want more phone calls and visits with family. I want more vacations and quality time at home with the ONE love of my life, expanding the love affair with my husband that I could never have dreamed would be as fulfilling as it is today!

So I need to live like THEY are dying or that I don’t have the promise of tomorrow. I want to have no regrets in this life and daily thank God for all the relationships in which I am truly BLESSED!